Yesterday was a big day for all of us, but especially me. I don't know what to think. It was the first day of school, but most terribly, Claire's first day of all day kindergarten. I'm holding it together, but feeling a huge shift in my life.
Claire was thrilled! She could hardly contain her excitement. She asked me every day for a week if today was kindergarten. She packed her own lunch the day before. Then, she ran all the way to school with her backpack. She is in class with her cousin Thea, so that is fun. They sit right across from each other.
So, I got a phone call from the school about 2:00. They wanted me to pick Claire up because she was having trouble. So I raced to school. When I got there she was curled up in a chair in the councilor's office, sound asleep. This is the story…
All the kids had name tags on. The teacher told them all it was their ticket to recess, and to take care of it. It was important because all the teachers needed to know their names etc. Claire was chewing on her tag and it broke. The teacher gave her a new one and warned her to take care of it or she would not be able to go to recess. Later in the day, she was chewing on it again, and it broke again. The teacher told her she had to miss recess. She was trying not to cry when they started another activity. They were all supposed to right their name on a piece of paper, come up to the board and put it on the graph telling how they were getting home, then head out to recess. The teacher called Claire's name to put her paper on the graph and she completely broke down crying because she was worried that she was in trouble and didn't know what to do because the kids were going to recess after they put their name on the graph. And since she had to miss recess she panicked and didn't know what to do, and melted down. She could not stop crying, so Mrs. Smith sent her to the office, where she immediately fell fast asleep on the chair in the councilor's office. Poor thing! She was traumatized and did not ever want to go back. It broke my heart because she was so excited to go to kindergarten. And it turned out to be such a disappointing experience for her. The teacher felt bad. I spent the whole morning convincing Claire to go back to school today. I told her she could get chocolate milk for lunch, and have a playdate with Brynn after school. She finally agreed. But she threw up on the way to school, she was so nervous. When I dropped her and Luke off, she ran right in with him, so I hope all will go well. We will see.
And I came home to an empty house…
I am extremely sad to send Claire to school full time. She is my little sidekick. We spend every minute together. She's always there, hanging out with me and tagging along chit chatting. I'm not excited to move out of this stage of having little people home with me. I miss them all so much. I don't get enough time with any of my kids now. They are all farmed out all day and I want them home with me. But I know I have to let them grow up. I just want to slow down time and keep them all under my wing forever.
We are so blessed with 5 beautiful, healthy, happy, wonderful children. They bring us so much joy, I feel overwhelmed with love for them. I might burst! Or be devastated when they leave me. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself now.
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